


Broken

by deemmmvee



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Aftermath, F/M, Loss, Mass Effect - Freeform, Mass Effect 2, One Shot, PTSD, SSV Normandy Crash, Trauma, death of a lover, mental and emotional anguish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:09:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27591836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deemmmvee/pseuds/deemmmvee
Summary: Kaidan heard the first report of the Alliance calling off the search for Commander Shepard in a local dive bar after being released from medical surveillance upon surviving the devastating crash of the SSV Normandy. Liara and Anderson come to pick up the pieces, but both help Kaidan cope in opposing ways...
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard
Kudos: 4
Collections: Mass Effect





	Broken

_ Reporting live from outside the Alliance Military Base located on Earth in the Vancouver District, we are hearing reports confirming the recent crash of the SSV Normandy holding the Alliance Militant crew led by the famed Commander Shepard, has shown no signs of the Commander’s survival. The Alliance has just recently confirmed finding stranded wreckage of this ship located on Alchera. Shepard managed to save the entirety of her crew, but while saving her good friend and pilot, Jeffrey Moreau, she was unable to secure herself into the last available escape pod alongside him. No signs of life were found near the wreckage but reports show little to no hope of survival for the famous Alliance hero as weeks have passed since the first initial searches began. Captain David Anderson, Shepard’s longtime colleague and mentor went on record to say that he, alongside other Alliance personnel and surviving relatives of the Commander, would assist in the planning of Commander Shepard’s public funeral, set to take place later this week… _

Kaidan sat rigid, staring up at the report as it played before him on the small screen in the near-emptied bar where he’d been nursing a bottle of batarian fire whiskey for the last half hour. 

He’d been released from Alliance medical care days prior, watching the doors open for her each day. He held onto hope that somehow she’d found a way… like she always did. He’d hoped…

Suddenly he felt a buzz at his wrist, flicking up his omni-watch, he saw that Liara had been trying to reach him since the broadcast went live. He picked up. But he couldn’t compel the words to come out, he still sat staring as her name swept across the small screen.

“Kaidan, where are you? I'm coming to pick you up. You shouldn’t be left alone right now… have you been watching the news?” 

He took another shot before he could answer. “No shit, Liara. Of course, I’m watching the news. They’re saying she’s… she’s…” He couldn’t bear to finish that sentence.

He screwed his eyes shut trying to push down the anger of the whiskey as images of her flashed through his mind.   


Her laid bare beneath him, her taking charge at the Normandy’s hull, her loud laughter as she’s surrounded by their crew mates, the last words she said to him as he tried to convince her to leave alongside him…

_ What exactly did she say? _

He didn’t even see her face; her helmet was covering her… When was the last time he saw her before that? 

He tried encapsulating everything he could hold onto, her smell, her sounds, her habits, her shouts of authority... but it all seemed to be slowly fading, while one thing echoed and haunted him for weeks on end…

He heard her.   


As the ship rang out in a booming blast… she had her helmet transmitter switched on and stationed to their private channel. The one they’d used to share secret words between each other, when no one else needed to hear.

It’s like she knew, she knew what was going to happen.

All he could hear of her now was the small strangled breaths escaping her lungs, as her oxygen slowly failed her in her final moments.

She was straining to stay alive but… there was no chance. 

He listened as she fought and his anger propelled him up from his seat in the emergency escape pod.   


It took every crewmate in there with him to stop him from using his biotics to get to her, to save her. He flailed and screamed in agony and punched at the pod’s door, trying every way he could to get to her as he listened to her straining, until… there was nothing left to hear. 

He slumped down to the floor with a hundred hands grasping at him but he could no longer feel anything, he was numb. His sobs broke out, from beyond his control and the only injury that was assessed during his stay at the med bay was extreme mental and emotional trauma.

The anger finally overpowered him. He became so furious that he grabbed the half empty bottle in front of him and flung it with a full biotic blast at the screen, as her name flashed once more, destroying half of the floating bar above him.

“SHE’S ALIVE, LIARA. I KNOW SHE IS. BUT NO ONE'S LOOKING FOR HER, NOBODY IS.”

He turned and focused his built up biotic energy on an empty table behind him, lifting and tossing it to the far-side of the bar. It smashed to splinters before making contact with the back wall.   


The bartender on shift sank down to the floor in a fetal position as Kaidan continued to express his rage on the remaining furniture. The few patrons still in attendance ran from the establishment, flagging down the nearest C-Sec personnel they could find. 

“Some psycho biotic is destroying that bar.”

Soon enough, officers flew in to apprehend Kaidan and brought him down with a whack across the base of his skull. Liara was still on the line as Kaidan laid limp, being restrained by the officers at hand.

“Please, don’t! Kaidan I’m coming for you, just hold on!”

They dragged his unconscious body out from the establishment and Kaidan was brought in to the closest C-Sec public corrections office, to get booked for public intoxication and property damage by use of biotics.

Liara along with Captain Anderson came flooding in through those office doors not an hour later.

Kaidan regained consciousness and sat upright in a single, dark, locked cell. His wrists were tightly bound in biotic-resistant cuffs.

Anderson walked up, Liara stayed behind to fill out the proper paperwork for his release.

“Son, this isn’t the way to handle this.” 

Kaidan slumped his head down into his joined palms, trying to rub out the mother of all migraines.

“She’s out there, Anderson. I know she is.”

Anderson nodded, “I know, son. I know how hard this is…”

Kaidan’s head flipped up, “No. No, you don’t. I love her, David. I love her and no one is out there fighting for her as hard as she’s fought for everyone else. She’s alive, I can feel it. I need to find her, with or without the help of the Alliance by my side.”

Anderson held up a hand, “I can’t let you do that, son. Not like this.”

Kaidan got to his feet, hands grasped around the bars as he stared menacingly at the Captain, inches from his face. This was his friend, his mentor… he looked down at himself and at what he’d just done and everything came to a crash all at once.

He lifted his head back up, and tears streamed out from his eyes, “I can’t live without her, man.”

His whole body slumped down, same as that night he’d lost her on the Normandy and he broke; heart and soul. Anderson knelt down, reaching past the bars to connect to Kaidan's shoulders, trying his best to wrap his arms around him. Trying his best to make him feel that support he so desperately needed.

“I’m going to help you through this, Kaidan. Everything’s going to be okay.” 

Kaidan continued to sob as Anderson let his friend unleash these emotions once and for all. He needed to accept the truth that she could be gone, forever.

He knew he had to help Kaidan let go. He was too good a soldier to lose now. He’d already lost Shepard, who was like a daughter to Anderson. It hurt everyone, that day when the report came flying across his desk that there was nothing more they were allowed to do.

The whole universe was in mourning, but he knew Kaidan had the worst of it all. He’d be damned if he stepped away from him now in his time of need.

During this episode, the men hadn’t known that Liara remained listening at the doorway for the entire ordeal. She shared Anderson’s sentiments but she also knew, deep down, that this was not the end of Shepard’s legacy. 

She allowed a single tear to shed for the cries of Kaidan's anguish over his lost lover and their dear friend before she determinantly went to work.

Without hesitation she sped to the front desk relaying the paperwork for Kaidan’s release to the officer on duty and promptly left without a word. Dead set that she’d find Shepard’s body, no matter the risk or cost.

She’d bring her home to him, that was a promise she’d force herself to keep.


End file.
